Entry 44 - Day 23 (night)

 

I've been relistening to the old pre-recorded distress signals today. It was probably a bad idea, but I was missing the sound of other human voices and really needed to hear them.

It was definitely bittersweet... While I know that I couldn't have helped any of them, part of me still feels guilty. Not because I didn't save them, but because I realise that I probably wouldn't have survived if I wasn't here alone.

Does that make sense?

I've always relied on other people. I don't think I've ever not had a safety net or support network to fall back on, if things got fakked up back home. I thought joining the crew of The Aurora was going to be a way to cut loose and finally do things on my own. 

[the sound of laughter]

I guess it was... I guess it was.

[pause]

Anyway, that wasn't the point. The point was that I was listening to the old recordings and, what with everything else that was going on at the time, I must've missed some stuff.

Keen mentioned something about a rendezvous and dry land, but the co-ordinates were corrupted. There was a message from Pod 6 too - I think it was Jayden from H.R. - mentioning a rendezvous site, so they probably got the full co-ordinates. 

I don't know where Keen's Pod is, but I might be able to find Lifepod 6 and the co-ordinates might still be there, somewhere. It's a long shot, but it's worth it, right? I mean, if other people survived then I have to try. 

Right...?

[pause]

I don't know why I'm feeling so reticent about this. I mean, I'm doing okay... Not thriving, but more than surviving. Having someone else here wouldn't be so bad, would it?

Fakk it, I'm too tired for all this introspection. I'm going to try to sleep.

Ryley out.